Some personal thoughts...


If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

Be direct with people, let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.

Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.

Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

Face every day vigorously, except for mondays and of course after 10:00 AM only.

Always give ladies a friendly greeting - a cold nose in the crotch is effective.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).

If a kiss is not wet and sloppy, it's not real love.

When you go out into the world remember, always take time to smell the roses... and the trees, grass, rocks, fire hydrants...



Great dog quotes


"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
-Ann Landers

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
-Will Rogers

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-Ben Williams

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current
events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of
late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are
often continued in the next yard."
-Dave Barry

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
-Josh Billings

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of
his tongue."

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-Andrew A. Rooney

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-Fran Lebowitz

"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever
-M. Facklam

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who
are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."
-Sigmund Freud

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-James Thurber

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water
-Penny Ward Moser

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times
before lying down."
-Robert Benchley

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
-Rita Rudner

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
-Franklin P. Jones

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money."
- Joe Weinstein

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog,
it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a
grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They
must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-Anne Tyler

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea."
-Robert A. Heinlein


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